Euro 2012When the big guns play, put a blindfold on me and ask me to spot a shooting star. That would have been more interesting.

The fears of failure and endearing the apparent philosophy that a no loss is better than a win, the big teams have fielded strategies that entitle someone to veto their status as big teams. Big teams have big hearts, big skill and big balls. A Spanish team with two holding midfielders, and the wish the Utopian concept of total football would mean the defensive players would turn into masterful attackers was what it was meant to be. Wishful thinking. And wishful thinking has no place in a real world. You would throw up less on a turbulent flight over subcontinent monsoon air shifts than watching that Netherland performance. Yes, even after you’ve banged your head against the roof. England looked like they want to do a Chelsea; except if they get anywhere playing like that, I rather resign to the fact that evil will always be victorious.

The only positives are the smaller teams. Croatia (not really that small) displayed a masterful performance. Even Italy, written off, came out of their defensive shells. And Russia. Oh Russia. Played like they want to prove something. Attacking like there were national borders at stake. How good was that Ukraine – Sweden match in visceral terms.

So screw the big guns. They have done me, none of the 30+ million pound players have delivered and that has messed up the position of my fantasy team in the fantasy league. I’ve got Dzagoev in. And I know even if he doesn’t score me some points he will hand me more thrills than a lap dance in the comfort of my living..

And I really have to leave now. Because the group that was expected to be the most easiest and boring is turning into a summer box office thriller. Right now, Czech have put two past Greece in six minutes, which means I will have to wait for Portugal to play to write the next piece.


He calls himself an expressionist. He also suffers from chronic palpitations owing to the repeated ingestion of double esspressos.

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